Chapter 5: "Aha!"

Chapter 5:  "Aha!"

The coffeepot gave one last burp and subsided. Ann poured the hot liquid into brightly painted mugs and placed one before each of the women gathering for prayer. The conversation was lively. “I just drove by Rhonda’s house, and it’s up for sale.” “Yes, I know. She and her husband have separated — another woman involved, I think.” “I’ve heard that, too. She’s really got problems. Her son was with the gang that was arrested the other night.” “I’ve been concerned about her being so strict with her kids for some time. I knew they would rebel one day.” “Yes, she certainly needs our prayers.” We could all think back to similar conversations we’ve had with people who, thinking they were gathering for prayer, were actually engaged in slander. Slander? we gasp. Yes. Slander.

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In the Old Testament the word slander is used for bad reports in general. The Hebrew word meaning “to defame or to strip one of his positive reputation”… In the New Testament, the word for slander is comprised of two words, one meaning “against” and the other meaning “to speak.” A slanderer, then, is simply one who speaks against another: “Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it” (James 4: 11). Based on the Old and New Testaments, slander is the open, intentional sharing of damaging information and is characterized by bad reports that blemish or defame a person’s reputation whether they are true or not!

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Read James 4:11, and think back on the ways you speak about others, have you recently, by this biblical definition, slandered someone?  Have you ever used the guise of prayer to share slanderous stories about others? 

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There are times, of course, that truth, however harsh, must be shared. But some guidelines as to with whom, how, and when are imperative. With whom: Does the person need to know because of his involvement or his responsibility in the situation? If the answer is yes, then it may not be slander. How: Your attitude is important. Are you sorry or glad to make this known? Is it painful for you to share it, or are you needlessly making someone else look bad? Have you spoken first to the person you will be talking about? When: Only when it is imperative. And of course, when in doubt, don’t! Heed the warning of the apostle James: “Brothers, do not slander one another”

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When our thoughts are not lovely, one of the results in our speech is the ugliness of gossip. Someone has defined gossip as “acid indiscretion.” A gossip separates close friends (see Proverbs 16: 28). The Bible tells us what our response should be to a person who gossips: “A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much” (Proverbs 20: 19). Did you ever avoid a person who gossips — who “talks too much”? In Scripture, gossip is coupled with quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, arrogance, disorder, and every kind of wickedness (see Romans 1: 29 and 2 Corinthians 12: 20). We live in bad company when we gossip!

The opposite of a gossip is a trustworthy man. In Proverbs 11: 13 we read, “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.” Do we want to be worthy of someone’s trust? Of course! Yet we betray members of the family of God by passing on unkind things we’ve heard about them or experienced with them.

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Read Proverbs 11:13, 16:28, 20:19, 26:20 and 2 Corinthians 12:20.  Make a list from these scriptures of who slander and gossip harm.   According to 2 Corinthians 12:20, what other sins does Paul mention in the same sentence as gossip?

Read Philippians 4:4-9.  For a moment, think of the things that are opposite of the attributes listed in  Philippians 4:8-9.  Write those things out.  Now, ask yourself, have you recently shared stories or "prayer requests" about others that highlight these negative words? 

What might Paul say the antidote to slander and gossip are?  Make a list of things we are to "think on" from this passage.  How can we use these attributes to speak about others this week?