Chapter 8: "How Can You Say That!"

Chapter 8: "How Can You Say That!"

As we were having lunch together, my friend leaned halfway over the table and dropped her voice. “Carole,” she said earnestly, “if you ever see anything about my life that isn’t right, please tell me. I want you to know I am open to you.” I regarded her thoughtfully. Her sweet smile and intent expression made me realize she was sincere. But I still thought somewhere in the back of my mind, Do you mean that? And echoing along the hallways of my life was the question, When I say that to a friend or loved one, do I mean it? It is probably most difficult to take correction from someone we love. Consciously or unconsciously, we think, If they have observed that ugly thing about me, they must not like me. If they don’t like me, how can they possibly love me the way I long to be loved?

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 Now what about giving reproof? The Bible tells us that we are to “admonish one another” (Colossians 3: 16). Most of us rarely practice that command. We have gone so far overboard on speaking with love that we neglect the fact that we are to speak the truth in love.

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I think one of the greatest “how-to” verses in all of the Scripture on this subject is Galatians 6: 1, which comes to my mind time and again: “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.”

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Read Galatians 6:1-6.  What are our instructions when it comes to admonishing one another?  What does it mean to "carry one another's burdens" in this context?  In this verse who are we to Admonish?  What are some sins or wrongs that others may do that are worthy of admonishing?  What does it mean to restore someone or admonish someone gently? 

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The book in the Bible that has the most to say on this subject was written by the wisest man of all time. Solomon admonished, “He who ignores correction despises himself, and he who listens to reproof acquires intelligence." (Proverbs 15:32) …At times it may be necessary to admonish someone about things that are not specific sin. Your child’s rude table manners are not a sin, but you hope to correct them to prepare the child for the expectations of society and to be a positive testimony in the world. You want to help friends with bad grammar (if they ask) and help your spouse overcome a poor habit.

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Read Proverbs 15:31-33.  How does one attain wisdom and personal growth according to these verses? 

Have you ever been corrected by someone other than your parent or boss? 

Have you ever been reproved by another Christian for something related to your Christian Walk?  How did you receive that reproof and/or how did that feel?  Were they right? 

When was the last time you brought something negative to someone else's attention?  Reflect on that moment, did you handle it gently? 

Read Proverbs 9:8-9, 12:15, 15:5 and Galatians 6:.  Write these verses in your own words.

Reflect on a recent time that you had to admonish someone, after reading these verses would you handle it differently?  If so, how?